My parents divorced when I was nine years old, just after the second world war, and as I grew up my greatest desire was for a family that was together, not broken. In the early 1960's I met Fran and we married and had four children, but by the late1970's something was going wrong with me.

Mum had always brought me up to go to church, but in my teens I had drifted away, not really understanding "What it was all about". Now, through Eric Crowe, vicar of Battyeford, I had started going to church again following the baptism of our third daughter. But things were still going wrong in my life.

I had the desire of my youth, a family; a family that I worshipped, but it seemed to bring only mental torment and personal anguish. I had read in the local newspaper of a man in Dewsbury who had killed his whole family, and the thought of this tormented me. Depression gripped me and I found that I could'nt share my problem with anyone.

Of course, on the outside everything looked fine, most of us are remarkably good actors if we really try, but on the inside things were steadily getting worse. I was the best husband and father in the world but no one could see that. If this was life, then it really was'nt worth living. I was, at the bottom of a very dark hole with a worthless life.

Then one frosty February morning in 1983 at the very end of my tether, alone in the house, just finished breakfast and having thrown the crumbs out onto the drive, I was looking at the birds through the window, pecking away at the scraps of bread; suddenly, a fragment of scripture dropped into my mind "You are worth more than many sparrows".

Receiving and believing those seven words became the turning point for me, words spoken by Jesus 2000 years ago and recorded by His friend Matthew, gave me my first glimpse of a reality that has changed my life, It was as though the Son of God had reached down into where I was and lifted me out into a new understanding. I found that the best way to serve the family that I love so much is to place God and His will above them. To worship Him and try to serve Him above all else.

He didn't make me perfect on the spot, I'm still a work in progress. Still finding things in my life that need His changing power. But now, twenty odd years later, I am able to look back on so many blessings, so much joy and fulfilment, such a lovely family, and so many grandchildren! all from a living, loving God who gave His Son Jesus, worth so much more than many, many, many sparrows, to die for me, a sinner. Praise His holy name!

Gerry Foreman
September 2005